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A Guys Perspective: Part 1 - Carson Barnett

Insight on The Misconception- Written by Carson Barnett


the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses.

“Perception is reality.” I can remember my dad telling me this for as long as I can remember. Perception is everything right? Everything is focused on what our immediate impression is when we see someone. Do they take care of themselves? Do they care how they look? Even in the work force you hear all the time as you are going through school that you have to look presentable. That in order to be taken serious, in order to give you that edge that you have to be dressed a certain way. That your hair style is important. That the lengths of clothes, what you can or cannot see is important. Ever since we were little we were essentially brainwashed that the face we put on the outside is so important.. that the face on the outside is the “money maker”. The crazy thing is that if you sit back and think about it that when someone describes you, they usually don’t describe you by what you look like, what you wear, but yet they describe you by your traits, how you treat people.  It’s so easy to look around and see that this is not only just a huge problem but a major misconception. Perception is reality when it may come to finding a job, or to give a first impression. However perception isn’t really reality when it comes to finding attraction with the opposite sex.  The older I get, the more I have begun to realize the simple lies that girls are attacked with. “You don’t look pretty enough” “I’m not skinny enough” “If I could just change this one thing about me”.. I could go on and on for whatever your situation may be. 

 Let’s think about this, if you are wishing and wanting to change the unchangeable, all you are doing is seeking this “worldly perfection” which is as about as fake as it gets. That even if your life long wish to change this certain thing about you miraculously was granted to you, you would just go on to the next thing that you don’t like about yourself. Before you know it, you’re going to be wishing it was just a new you.  I encourage you to live in the promises of Christ that he created you in His image.  Anytime we want to take away or add something to ourselves, all we are doing is actually lessening the value of ourselves who was created by the God of the universe. In 1 Samuel 16:7 it talks about how the Lord is looking at the heart and the internal side of you. Let that be a a drive within you to know that the external will always be a reflection of the internal. That’s why the Lord is so concerned, yet fascinated with the internal part of yourself and your make up. He knows that if you center Him in your life that the rest will take care of itself. Again it states in 1 Timothy 4:8 that God focuses on the internal because godliness adds value to all things in your life!

 With this all being said, it’s time we take a stand with this drastic misconception in the world. That it’s time that you stop looking into the mirror blindly. That you see the creation you are, that you are perfected and designed by God. Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” That the one little freckle you may have on your face or that one little birth mark you may have that you wish you could remove, that there is a guy out in this world that actually likes that. That every little imperfection you may think you have, is what makes you uniquely beautiful to him. That he doesn’t want you to feel that you have to get ready for him, that you can be just as you are.  Guys aren’t looking for a girl to be insecure. They are looking for a woman who is confident in herself, but more importantly confident in the God who created her, confident in the fact that she truly does believe she was designed and perfected in His image.     

  If you’re wanting a Christian guy, he wants to have to search to find you.  He wants you to have so much confidence in yourself, in a humble way, that he sees Christ in you when he sees your satisfaction in yourself.  I do agree that being attracted to someone in a physical way is important, however that’s why God created us all differently.  That there is a guy that is looking for you and is going to love you just the way you are.  Not for the potential of what you can look like when you spend an hour in the bathroom getting ready. Not for the possibility of maybe what you can try to hide with some make up. He is going to love you for your internal. The external is not going to keep a guy around.  The internal, the heart that you have is what’s going to keep a man of God around. He wants you to know why you exist, what is your purpose. So many times I feel as if this world loves to portray that you individually will never be able to achieve anything. That you are here to just exist rather than to live and just live a life full of routine. 

A man will fall for a girl who knows there purpose. For the one’s of you who don’t think you have one, refer to Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s handiwork created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Your purpose is to live a life surrendered to the King glorify him in all that we do. By doing this we will fulfill the good works God has created us to do resulting in internal beauty by living a life of godliness. For the on’es who are still caught up in so much of how others perceive you, true beauty is found in 1 Peter 3:3-4, Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” Also in Proverbs 31:30 it says, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Therefore, I encourage of you as you are out in this world to continue to shine your light, the light of Christ in you! When you can see Jesus in the smile of a girl it doesn’t get much more beautiful than that.  To see the joy she has, to see the spirit of a girl who respects everyone, who is caring, encouraging, and positive.

Run after Christ and pursue him with everything that you have and I can promise you that you will never be more beautiful that when you are living a life chasing him!"

(((Thank you for sharing your heart with us Carson. You heart for Jesus is encouraging and we appreciate your insight on this HUGE misconception.)))

In His Love



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