WHAT IS MODESTY?
MT: Merriam-Webster defines modesty as “the quality of behaving and especially dressing in ways that do not attract sexual attention.” A good base to start with, but modesty is more than that. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says, “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.” So, modesty is more than trying to avoid sexual attention. Modesty is valuing what God values: imperishable beauty. What’s imperishable beauty? A gentle and quiet spirit. Where’s imperishable beauty found? The heart. Daughters of God, I’m not saying feeling physically beautiful is a bad thing; it’s a good gift that’s meant to glorify God. However, there is a greater beauty that trumps the physical because a Spirit-filled heart doesn’t have an expiration date. And remember, modesty isn’t about trying to act like you aren’t beautiful any more than humility is thinking less of yourself. No, just as humility is thinking of yourself, less, modesty is the act of taking your eyes off of yourself and placing them on Jesus. You think of Him, delight in Him, and that’s what triggers the transformation in your heart. You begin to desire what He desires; namely, a gentle and quiet spirit, and a heart that delights in Him.
ST: Modesty means to ascribe value to the created work of God by preserving its innate beauty through the act of revering the body as holy, pure and priceless. Yes, that's a lot. But these statements build off one another. We'll start here: you must value God's design in order to value the human body. If you find your worth and significance in your physical beauty (i.e. your curves, your edges, your triangles, whatever) you will ultimately be left unsatisfied. This is true because modesty is more than feeling beautiful or even treasuring God's design. It means freely believing you are not your own because you were bought with a price. As the apostle Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans, "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind..." (Romans 12:1-2). You are not holy, pure, and priceless because you say so, but because God says so. Therefore, in a world where the common belief remains focused on what we say about ourselves, or what other people say about us in person and online, be transformed by what the God of the universe says about you. Recognize you cannot do whatever you want with your body, if you believe the Bible to be true. God ascribed value to the physical nature of humanity, and it's our gift to protect, honor, and cherish this for his glory.
WHAT DOES MODESTY ATTRACT?
MT: First, I think it’s important to note what immodesty attracts. Immodesty encourages lust and sexual attention. You’ll attract a boy that is driven by sexual desire. He likes what he sees, and will chase after you with reckless abandon. Why? Because he’s hungry, and he’s all about himself. But that’s not what he will tell you. Don’t be fooled, it’s all a part of the hunt, and the hunt is rooted in brokenness. Flee from the boys. So, what if you want a Godly man? You know, someone who’s more interested in loving you than lusting for you? Truthfully, Kingdom Men will turn away from immodesty. Matthew 5:28-29 says, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.” That’s serious stuff from the mouth of Jesus. There’s not a single Jesus-loving Kingdom Man that wants to be associated with adultery. Even the best of them aren’t perfect, but Kingdom Men will flee from anything that could take their eyes off of Jesus. So what does modesty attract? Kingdom Men. Kingdom Men want Godly wives. Proverbs 31:10-12 says, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” More precious than jewels. No lack of gain. She does him good, all the days of her life. That’s special; that’s attractive.
ST: Simply put, modesty attracts what modesty is. From a guy's perspective, I don't think immodesty attracts modesty. Maybe it's just me, who knows. But if a man remains deeply rooted in Scripture, prayer, and gospel-centered community, I believe he will not be attracted to a girl who is living another way. This is true because there's a difference between lust and attraction. Lust focuses on sexual desire, while attraction goes beyond sex and into the realm of intimacy and relationship. Therefore, modesty attracts godly men who want you for more than just sex. These are men who choose to be leaders in purity by viewing modesty as divine beauty. On the flip side, an immodest lifestyle will likely attract immodest people. This includes people who want you for sex. People who aren't submitting to God before choosing to faithfully love you. People who clearly don't understand what it means to be a man. It's more than just the physical, remember? For those of you who think you have not encountered faithful men of integrity, they are out there. Maybe you've been fortunate enough to know some of these guys. Maybe not. However, I invite you to extend grace to your brothers in Christ, daughters of God. No man is perfect. Lust is a real battle. But their affections for godliness will be stirred once their affections for God grow first. Use the platform of how you dress to set an example in purity for young men and women. And don't ever sell yourself short by believing the lie which says you must lower your standards to get the attention of some guy. If you need to lower your standards to get his attention, he isn't worth your time.